Letting Go ...

Today was my eldest daughters first day of kindergarten ... How did we arrive here already?! It seems like just yesterday I was running up the street to my bus stop and waiting for the bus to take me to my first day of kindergarten. I remember it so well. I had curls in my long, brown hair. I wore a matching shirt/skirt magenta outfit with black polka dots all over it ... It was sort of ruffly ... totally 80's! I still have the pictures of my sister and best friend and I standing up at the bus stop. Was that really twenty two years ago? I remember practicing spelling my last name in the car on the way to school one morning and my Mom not letting me out of the car until I had it right H-A-R-M-O-N-Y. Learning to spell the word dinosaur was a part of my kindergarten experience - something that once I learned I felt extremely big kid-ish and important knowing. A few of my memories include watching eggs hatch into baby chicks, sitting through circle time giggling with my friends, crushing on boys, learning that not everybody had the same beliefs as I did and being stunned that they didn't, learning school yard games such as: Monday marriage day, Wednesday wedding day and Friday flip up day - yeah all of us girls always wore skirts or dresses on Friday's. :) Oh the joys of elementry school!

Now my little one is off at school probably starting to gather up her own experiences. I wonder what kinds of stories she will come home to tell me ... What kinds of friends she will make ... What her learning style will be ... who knows?! I have mothered her and nurtured her as best as I could at home for the past five years and now it is time to hand her off to the teachers. So many things raced through my head last night as I mentally prepared myself for this day. Of course I was mostly excited for all that she would start to experience but there are also fears associated with handing your child over to the world. I don't want her to get her feelings hurt, her heart broken, pushed by a bully, teased by other children or get lost ... Some of that I just need to bit my lip and let happen, after all, we all have faced those issues at some point or another in our childhood and it helps shape and strengthen us. I concluded that all I can do is offer up prayers for her every morning and every night ... be there for her at the end of everyday with arms wide open ... continue to set a good example at home ... and to have faith that I've done my best to prepare her so that she will grow up to make the wisest choices.

Kindergarten is such a huge step in growing up ... I will always treasure the memories of today and look forward to hearing her side of the story twenty two years down the road when she sends her child off for their first day ...