Sometimes my life baffles me ... I think, "how did I get here?", "why am I am in these situations?" or, "I just don't get it God." Sometimes I look into the mirror and wonder when I became who I am today. Don't get me wrong, my life is full of love, joy and happiness. I have a beautiful family and the best friendships that anyone could ever ask for. But, Senior Airman and I have been through our share of struggles and sometimes I wonder when the cycle will ever break. When will we reach that point of achievement that we are striving for? Have you ever felt that way?
I am a firm believer that God is in control and that He has His own special plans for my life that I may know nothing about. When I am wanting my life to go in one direction He might be pushing me into something in the complete opposite direction. Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." I take that to heart and firmly believe in those words, but I also wonder ... "what are those plans God?! Hello! Anytime you want to fill me in would be great!"
I am a strong woman and I like to be in control of the things in my life. I like to tackle problems myself and come up with my own solutions. If I can't come up with a good enough solution I don't ever hesitate to go to others (keyword: others, not Him) for advice. This is my downfall ... I am learning that I need to let go of my control and let God take control. 'Soul control' as I like to call it ... yikes ... that is a tough one. Life would be so much easier if we could all let go and let our spirits lead us, but we are after all human and being spirit led can be a struggle.
My verse of the month is Hebrews 13:5, "... I will never fail you. I will never abandon you." Wow! I mean there is not really a lot to say to follow that verse, it is simplistic and powerful. The LORD has been drilling that into my mind lately. He reminds me of it daily through other peoples words, through dreams and then he plainly throws it into my everyday thought processes. He WILL NOT fail me and He WILL NOT abandon me. That right there people is love. I don't deserve His love and I especially don't deserve His unending promises of hope and security yet He still gives it to me freely. When you really stop and digest those words and think about what they mean, it is powerful stuff.
What does this all mean and why do these verses have significance to my questions and doubts about my life ... what it comes down to is remembering that I have a God who deeply loves me, who wants the best for me, who gives me the tools I need to be the biggest success that I am capable of being, who is not only walking next to me as I go through life but completely covering me. So, when I go through times like I am right now, I read these verses along with others and meditate on them and their meanings. I ask Him to speak to me and I will myself to listen to the answers and follow where He calls me. Even when I don't get the answers I am seeking, the giants seem much smaller and I can feel a quiet confidence rise up inside me. It all comes down to faith in Him and trusting in His plans. The greatest part of this is that this isn’t just my story … every one of you listening is part of a master plan of promise and hope. You all have his love and devotion, His covering of protection and His light leading you down your path. So when life throws you into a chaotic whirlwind, take heart that you are not alone … you have the tools and abilities to persevere through. He won’t leave you or forsake you. How lucky we are to have such an adoring God! I genuinely am sad for those who don't have Him in their life ... I would be at a complete loss without the guidance and promises of my LORD, and that comes straight from the mouth of a control freak.
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